


Remus Lupin and the veil of death

by NoctuaLusa



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Albus Dumbledore (mentioned) - Freeform, Battle of the Department of Mysteries, Bellatrix Lestrange (mentioned) - Freeform, Canonical Character Death, Character Death, Department of Mysteries, M/M, POV Remus Lupin, wolfstar
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-09
Updated: 2020-02-09
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:20:16
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,140
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22636621
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoctuaLusa/pseuds/NoctuaLusa
Summary: When Sirius Black falls through the archway in the death chamber, there is nothing Remus Lupin can do apart from fulfilling his last promise: to keep Harry Potter safe.
Relationships: Sirius Black/Remus Lupin
Kudos: 24





	Remus Lupin and the veil of death

**Author's Note:**

  * A translation of [Remus Lupin und die Halle des Todes](https://archiveofourown.org/works/22620871) by [NoctuaLusa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/NoctuaLusa/pseuds/NoctuaLusa). 



> I used parts of the original chapter to make it feel as familiar as possible.   
> As English is not my first language there are probably some mistakes in here. Feel free to point them out in the comments. <3

_We are saved_ , Remus thought as Albus Dumbledore appeared in the doorway, his wand aloft, his face white and furious. _It’s over. Everything’s gonna be alright._

He turned away from Dumbledore when he heard Sirius’ laughter. He had heard it multiple times in school, after every successful prank – so long ago. Now, Sirius laughed at Bellatrix, ducking a jet of red light.

“Come on, you can do better than that” he yelled, his voice echoing around the cavernous room.

The second jet of light hit him squarely on the chest.

The laughter had not quite died from his face, bus his eyes widened in shock. Remus could see the white in them. Like that one night, when Sirius had seen the wolf for the very first time.

Remus stood there, frozen, as Sirius’ body curved in a graceful arc as he sank backwards through the ragged veil hanging from the arch. It seemed to take him an age to fall.

Remus saw the look of mingled fear and surprise on Sirius’ face when their eyes met for the last time. The younger Sirius would have never shown those feelings to anyone but him. Even Remus had seen them only a couple of times. Back when Sirius’ transfiguration wasn’t as quick and easy as he would have liked it, and Remus’ own was so much faster sometimes. And back when Remus told him that he did not only like him as a friend. Remus could still see this face. It kept appearing in his dreams – this pale face, the silver eyes wide, framed with long, dark hair. It was still hard for him to unite the face from his memory and the wasted face in the doorway, the silver eyes deep in their sockets, so much pain in the lines on this once-handsome face. The most handsome face Remus had ever seen.

He could have sworn that he saw Sirius forming his name one last time – “Moony!” He had seen those narrow lips saying his name so often. Back when Sirius had tiptoed to his four-poster bed, whispering “Hey, Moony! You awake?” Back when Sirius had moaned his name, before coming. Back when Sirius had told him how much he loved him.

Remus would have given anything to relive these moments, to go back in time with Sirius, to hide in the Gryffindor tower forever, acting as if they were fifteen again.

But instead, Sirius disappeared behind the veil, which fluttered for a moment as though in a high wind, then fell back into place. There was nothing left of the man Remus Lupin had loved for most of his life.

“SIRIUS!”

Harry’s scream broke into Remus‘ memories.

“SIRIUS!”

The boy had reached the ground and sprinted towards the dais. He looked as if he was ready to go right after his godfather. Remus throw himself forwards, grabbed Harry around the chest, holding him back.

“If I die tonight, Moony – “ Sirius had said to Remus hours ago, closing his fingers around Remus’ wrist. Remus had almost jumped. It had been weeks since the two men had touched. Even their glances had tried to evade each other. They had never used their old nicknames. But now, Sirius silver eyes had bored into his own. “If I die tonight, look out for Harry. Promise me that he will be okay.”  
Remus’ throat had been so dry; he couldn’t say anything. He could only nod. And Sirius had let go, turning away from him, had hurried down the steps to join the other order members before Remus had been able to move again, holding his own wrist as if this would hold Sirius’ fingers in place.

The boy squirmed in Remus’ arms, yelling Sirius’ name over and over again, trying to throw them both towards the dais. It took all of Remus’ strength not to give in. He wanted to rip this veil so badly, to jump through this archway himself. But he had promised it. Harry could not be harmed. 

“There’s nothing you can do, Harry – “ he said although it felt like his whole body cramped around his lungs, almost taking his breath away, making it impossible to speak.

“Get him, save him, he’s only just gone through!” Harry cried.

“ – it’s too late, Harry.” Too late. The words repeated in Remus’ head. Too late, too late, too late. How do you strike up a love that ended twelve years ago in war, mistrust and betrayal? You did not, perhaps. But all those weeks, they hadn’t even spoken to each other – it felt like such a waste now. All the time, Remus had wanted to work up his courage, to talk to Sirius, to ask him… But his courage had never been enough.

“We can still reach him – “ Harry’s voice was shrill in Remus’ ears.

“There’s nothing you can do, Harry, … nothing… he’s gone.” Remus almost let Harry go. This was too much. So say it meant to really acknowledge it. Sirius was no longer part of this world.

“He hasn’t gone!” Harry yelled. His fingernails dug into Remus’ scarred forearms, but Remus’ didn’t even notice. This was just a minor pain.

The boy kept yelling Sirius‘ name. How often, he, Remus, had tasted this name on his lips. Laughing, back when Sirius had hopped into his bed in the hospital wing, licking his face after a particularly bad full moon. It had been their first kiss. Crying, back when he woke up from nightmares after Lily’s and James’ death. How could he ever believe Sirius had betrayed them? How could he have believed to be so wrong about the man he loved?

“He can’t come back, Harry,” said Lupin, his voice breaking as he tried to convince both Harry and himself of this truth. “He can’t come back, because he’s d – “

He could not say it. Not about Sirius. He had said this word so often, about others he loved. About James, the first person ever who thought being a werewolf was “cool”. About Lily who had once told him, ages ago, that she was really sure that Sirius liked him, too. About Marlene, about Dorcas, about Benjy... But now, his throat felt like it did not belong to him anymore.

“HE – IS – NOT – DEAD!” roared Harry. “SIRIUS!”

There was movement going on around them, the flashes of more spells. Remus tried to keep the still struggling Harry safe from them. A jet of green light shot past them and for a moment, he wished it had hit him.

But instead, Remus dragged Harry away from the damned dais. Everything in him screamed that this was the wrong direction. That there was no point walking up these stairs. That there was no point in living any more. But the boy in his arms lived. And Remus Lupin had promised to keep him safe.


End file.
